It’s hard to imagine how painful it may be to lose someone who has been near you for years. The loneliness and pain that will follow that loss are impossible to describe. So, dating a widower is not like any other dating types. This becomes more sensitive, and before venturing into such a dating type, there are some important things to know. For example, dating a recent widower is quite different from dating a widower who lost his spouse years ago. You should know your dating partner better so that you can take more decisive steps.
Dating a widower: red flags
Once you start dating a widower, there are some challenges you should accept, and sometimes you may have to take them for granted. Patience can be your best approach and solution. The pain of loss is something hard, and this feeling may haunt anyone from time to time. Here are some common challenges you should be aware of:
-widowers may hide their relationships from others: it happens that a person you are dating is not ready to make your relationship known to others. Widowers may feel guilt that they give a chance to someone else.
-you can be a reminder of someone they lost: the hardest part of dating a widower is that you can be a reminder of a deceased person. This happens when dating a recent widower when pain is still fresh.
-they can be talking about a person they lost: it doesn’t matter if you are dating a widower over 50, 60, or even someone younger, they can be talking about their spouse all the time, and this can be a bit disturbing. So, you need to be patient about that since it takes some time before a widower can understand the problem.
-they can be indecisive about going on: to lose someone doesn’t mean that you have reached the end. You have to move on despite everything, and this is hard for widowers as they don’t know how to do that, and thus, you can be the one who will lead them out of the darkness of loneliness.
When to start dating again
Dating a widower: tips to follow
These tips apply to widowers so that they can go on and avoid ruining new relationships. No one will judge them for being hesitant, but it’s more important to get rid of the past and find brighter moments in the future. One important thing to keep in mind is that they are not about to find someone to replace their past spouses.
-being sure: widowers should be sure that they can go on. Of course, doubts will be present, but they should proceed despite them. The first tip is to be mentally ready and understand they have to go on.
-dumping all complexes: the feeling of guilt can be a crippling factor, and thus, they should realize the past is the past, and no one can judge them for the desire to be loved and love. So, it’s time for them to get rid of complexes that will hinder dating.
-readiness for new changes: dating someone new is to accept new changes in life. Widowers should embrace these changes and understand that new things won’t take the lost spouse’s memories. It’s just about accepting that they need to go on and overcome their pain.
-finding the one who can be considerate: given the challenges of dating a recent widower, there can be many problems that can seem hard to overcome, at least at the beginning of a dating process. To fight them, widowers should choose people who show affection, understanding, and patience.
-seeking the best option online: choosing the one for dating and creating a relationship starts online, and thus, widowers should spend some time choosing their match carefully in order not to get disappointed.
-finding someone who can support you: dating after bereavement is hard to describe, but people need someone who will support you. Thus, it’s not about finding who to sleep with, but it’s about finding emotional support.
-getting rid of a pain-stricken image: when dating online, widowers should not arouse the feeling of pity. Instead, they should look stronger. The feeling coming from pity won’t last long. Thus, it’s better to be emotionally stronger and more confident.
-being open about the expectations: no matter the reason for dating online, widowers are people like everyone, and they can opt for dating to find their next spouse or just be interested in casual dating. Thus, they should be open about their expectations so that their partner can be aware of them.
-mutual respect: showing respect and expecting it should be an inseparable part of dating online. Whether someone has lost someone recently or not, they should be treated with respect and show respect. For widowers, respect can be quite critical when dating, but they should be aware that this is what they have to show themselves as well.
When to start dating again?
When should a widower start dating again? This is the most important question before widowers start dating someone online. Not to hurt someone, they should be ready for dating online. To understand whether they are ready, they should consider the following:
– Does pain haunt you less? If the pain of loss gets milder and less disturbing, this can be a sign for widowers to start a new relationship.
– Are you still obsessed with the pain of loss and your past? Another important factor that can show readiness for a new dating venture is to what extent a widower is obsessed with the past and pain of loss. After some time, these obsessions will start to decrease and may vanish for good. When this happens, widowers may start their new relationship
– Is melancholy part of your daily life? So many times can widowers feel melancholic during the day. The pain can haunt their minds almost everywhere, and this makes them less attentive and less focused. Thus, it will be hard for them to try something new unless they get rid of haunting melancholy.
– Do you notice someone special around you? Once widowers start spotting appealing people around them, it can be a signal that they can start something romantic. Many people around widowers are definitely ready to be by their side and be their emotional support, but it takes some time before they start noticing them.
Dating after bereavement is not as easy as it may seem. There are many challenges that a widower should overcome himself. Moreover, there are even more problems that people dating a widower should be ready to face. However, with the feeling of readiness to move on, love, and patience, everything can become possible.